WHY I FEEL SADDD? D:



Yeahhh, i'm still thinking of my dear dubu. Hahahaha, he's the one that made me feel calm everytime i think of him. Gahhhh, when is he coming back? D:

Yeah, i agree with this. It's like so difficult for me to memorize just five. :x


Helllllo!
Yeah, the posting has arrived.
Am I happy or sad?
Initially I think that with my marks, I can go to a better poly or better course.
So I'm happy even though I cannot make it to my dream course.
But, the problem is, I chose a course that is not very popular, and in a normal poly.
I shall not say that the poly is bad, just normal.
Yeahhhh, I know you would say if you love your course, don't care whether it's popular or not.
The problem is, I love so many courses to the extent that I don't have any particular course I love to the extent I can beg for it.
I waver a half a day until my dear friends tell me they are in the same poly with me.
I'm happy, cause I enjoy their accompany.
However, when I start to check the things about the course, I started to realise, it's not very good for the future.
So, I have all this negative thoughts such as "You're going to waste another three years studying another diploma you think it's worth after this diploma I'm appointed to."
Yeahhhhh, I know you would say why I didn't choose properly or you would say, there is so much time and I didn't find out more?
Hahahahahahaha, I'm lazy and I don't care much you see.
That's why I'm sad, sad for myself and also angry at myself.
Why do I always do such stuffs, act like this, regret in the end, not have a great life or something.
I don't choose decisions well.
Uhmmm, I shall say I chose SKSS quite well, but this time I started to choose things blindly.
I think a lot, but I didn't see what is in front of me.
So, i mean, BLIND.
Sometimes I think so much to the extent that I come to a zero conclusion.
Whyyyyyy.
And I just spot it today, appeal deadline is yesterday, so is this fate?
I always come up with excuses like this to make me feel better.
So, I'm sad for myself again.
Gahhhhhh.

Another thing is, there's another five boys there to motivate me.
Of course, why is there 'another'?
SHINee were the first five strangers to motivate me and carry on with my life.
Now, another five boys are doing the same thing to me now, the Dangerous Boys.
They made me realise that, everything was never too late, when you found your goal, go for it.
It's great though, but I don't have a goal yet. -.-
Hahahaha, but why YongHyun is leaving?
It made me disappointed and sad.
It even discourages me.
Probably that's why I am still wavering with my posting results.
I really don't want to be a burden to the family.
I don't want them to spend so much school fees on me.
Neither I don't want them to take care of me when I can take care of myself.
Thus, I really want to find a good diploma and study, and find a good job.
Hopefully with a degree as well.

Anyway, there's no turning back.
I just had to move on and endure.
Until my next turn comes. DDDDDDD:

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